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Recipe of Fear

  • September 15, 2020

Cooking up a good fright is nothing more than congealing the right ingredients. While some of the best recipes are merely a matter of taste, usually most will include darkness and solitude as a base.

By all means, keep in mind that no recipe is ever the same and although one ingredient may work well for one person, it may not for another. Thus, experimentation, adding a pinch here and taking away a dash there, is highly encouraged. Never grow discouraged if the flavor doesn’t suit. Keep chopping, dicing, slicing and grinding. Add a dab of this and a sprinkle of that and eventually you’ll stumble upon a recipe that will be perfect, tasty and delicious. When this occurs, don't be surprised at a sudden impulse to serve family and friends, it's natural.

My first recipe came at eight years old and was something simply happened on. The course needed no additions, was marvelous alone and vividly savored. The delectability was so superb that both taste and shivers lingered. That feast immediately made me a connoisseur, but I had yet to realize how tough recreating would actually be. It had been my first real taste of a delicacy that eventually went on to become something constantly strived and needed.

That main ingredient was George Romero’s 1968 zombie masterpiece The Night of the Living Dead and I recall the simmering, as well as the rolling boil. Luscious was the taste, probably equal to, or even more so, the flesh those lumbering corpses obtained. Little did I know that it would be years before successfully finding another main ingredient. Throughout, granted the meals were good and richly savored, but they were far from exceptional.

But, it did eventually happen. What was most surprising was that the ingredient was a completely different flavor. However, this time I had added a heaping scoop of being alone and mixed in a generous portion of late night dark. Blending perfectly, the flavor was somewhat deeper and richer, but just as scrumptous and while savoring I remember thinking that it might well be this chef’s finest hour.

What was the main ingredient? The 1973 classic The Exorcist, and I have since obtained the uncut version, which seems to have a somewhat more delicate flavor, especially when incorporating not only solitude and darkness, but increasing volume to a surround sound environment. Try it just once, and I'm certain you will find it quite delicious.

Of course, not all tastebuds appreciate all flavors, and these are merely a couple from my personal cookbook. Unlike many chefs, I choose to share my recipes and might add that there are a few more which might be passed on later. However, as for now, I'll take the beginner approach and simply offer a few basic ingredients that will consistantly work. Whether or not they are used is a matter of choice and as previously mentioned, all tastes are not the same. Nonetheless, allow me to reassure, below are tried and true basic ingredients that are guarenteed to enhance...I promise.

First off, start with a big heaping bowl of visiting the neighborhood movie rental store. This may be substituted with and app or on demand. Either way, it’s really no different that visiting a grocery store. Your objective is to select the absolute best ingredient. Beforhand, be sure to put some preliminary thought into it. Will the flavor be sweet or sour, rich and creamy, or bland and boring? Always take the time to search carefully. Dig deep. Some of the best flavors are buried below the top row or farther down in the menu.

Mix in a liberal amount of blackness. The darker the better. Note: Occasional flashes of lightning are alright and believe it or not, enhance every flavor.

Stir in a heaping quantity of being alone.

Lavish with a few pinches of surround sound volume notches. As with most everything, more is better.

Of course, popcorn is always encouraged, but don’t expect to finish the tub.

Sit back, allow the ingredients to simmer and congeal. Cooking times will vary, but when you find that the edge of the seat has become a constant, usually right after a glance into the unseeable corner inspecting a faint little noise you thought you heard, the cooking is done.

Eat hearty

Stay Scared, The Prof.

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About Staying Scared

Spurned by a fandom of both cheesy horror & Chilly Billy from Pittsburgh's Chiller Theater, Professor Willie Shivers (aka Thomas Scopel) and his cohorts Lillian, a plant that thinks she's beautiful and prefers to be called Lily, along with Barnabas, a wisecracking skeleton who finds his corny jokes hilarious, are your guides of B-Movie horror.