Pinocchio was a Murderer!

  • September 18, 2020


Most Disney stories have wonderful happy ever after endings, which is all well and good, but their versions are far from the truth and Pinocchio is a prime example. Derived from a 1881 & 82 newspaper serial written by Carlo Collodi, the real tale is far more sinister...and the cricket does not sing.

The tale most are aware of surrounds a happy go lucky boy child, whittled of of wood by his father Gepetto, whose nose grows when he spews lies. His sidekick is a cricket having a beautiful singing voice. Well, truth be told, the only similarity between the new and old tale is that the boy was named Pinocchio.

Entitled The Adventures of Pinocchio, the boy was, for a lack of a better word, simply a selfish a-hole, and the cricket was not named Jiminy. Lacking compassion, at least until the very end of the tale, the child frowned upon being corrected and after the cricket offered advice Pinocchio disagreed with, he threw a hammer, hitting the cricket in the head and killing him. Afterward, although feeling somewhat regretful, Pinocchio still blamed the cricket and told his father Gepetto that, it was his own fault, for I didn’t want to kill him.

Also, not only did the boy appear uncompassionate, but he wasn't all that bright either.

While sitting on a stool, Pinocchio propped his wooden legs up on a stove to dry and napped. Completely unaware, his legs slowly blackened and eventually became nothing more than ashes. Of course, probably as any loving father would do, Gepetto whittled him new ones. One would think that the boy would be most grateful, but he wasn’t, and as a matter of fact, continued on with wicked ways.

Now, prior to all this, after Gepetto initially brought Pinocchio to life, he taught the boy to walk, which, understandably, took him a bit to learn.

As confidence grew, Pinocchio began running off, leaving Gepetto distraught and searching. Upon finding, the reunion was less than joyous, for Pinocchio had lied to the townsfolk, implying that the reason for running away was because Gepetto had been abusive. This landed Gepetto in jail.

Now this act alone, and for good reason, might be the breaking point for a father, especially considering the boy isn't made of flesh and blood and real. But, on the contrary, the father's love prevailed and he continued to sacrifice by giving up his only warm coat to buy a book so Pinocchio could attend school.

But, Pinocchio sold the book for theater tickets instead.

Meanwhile, some unsavoroy kids' prey on slow-witted Pinocchio and connoive, telling him that planting gold coins will in fact grow a gold tree. And he believed them.

The dead cricket returns as a ghostly spirit and, just as prior to becoming Pinocchio's victim, offers noble advice, recommending that he avoid those vile tree of gold children.

And, just as before, Pinocchio doesen't heed the caution, which leads to those same insalubrious ones hanging him by the neck in a tree.

With Pinocchio having died, Collodi had originally considered the tale finished, but decided to continue on, bringing the blue fairy into play to save the stubborn boy’s life.

Oddly enough, Pinocchio eventually matured, settled, and began caring for a now elderly Gepetto. However, and this is probably what brought on Pinocchio's drastic change, the cricket appears yet again to remind Pinocchio of the hammer. Under the impression the cricket had intentions of exacting revenge, concerned for his father, Pinocchio hastily pleaded for the cricket to toss the hammer at him instead.

But revenge hadn't been the cricket's motive. He merely wanted to reiterate that folks should always be compassionate, courteous and kind to one another, and Pinocchio never again strayed.

Stay Scared, The Prof.

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About Staying Scared

Spurned by a fandom of both cheesy horror & Chilly Billy from Pittsburgh's Chiller Theater, Professor Willie Shivers (aka Thomas Scopel) and his cohorts Lillian, a plant that thinks she's beautiful and prefers to be called Lily, along with Barnabas, a wisecracking skeleton who finds his corny jokes hilarious, are your guides of B-Movie horror.